Quick fights

D vs. R

Princeton's Larry Bartels proves what you may have already known. Democratic presidents manage the economy better than Republican ones — overwhelmingly better for everyone. There are two exceptions:

• Republicans beat Democrats in election years;
• Republicans always do slightly better for the wealthiest 5%.

For more than my summary of a summary, read Kevin Drum's post or Bartels' paper.

Fundamentalism vs. Reality

To commemorate the arrest of John Scopes 80 years ago, hooting Kansas theocrats forswear their monkey ancestors. This inspires the Andrew of the Poor Man to travel into the Future and bring back the 2015 SATs:

PART B: Mathematics

2. If dinosaurs first appeared 250 million years ago, and became extinct 185 million years later, how long ago did they become extinct?
A. 65 million years ago
B. There is no paleontological consensus that dinosaurs ever existed
C. 3500 years ago, during the Flood
D. However long ago it was that they turned gay and lost their moral values

Publishers, you're missing out by not reissuing these books:

• a classic account of the Scopes trial,
• memoirs of the most famous substitute teacher in history.

Jesus vs. Jesus

"My Jesus forgives your Jesus" — John Scalzi.

The winnahs!

• Democrats win in a knockout!
• Reality wins in a split decision! (A rematch has been announced.)
• Jesus wins on a disqualification after Jesus turns the other cheek!