Mellow yellow

The Army faces a recruiting crisis. Kids have heard about increasing casualty rates, inadequate force levels, inadequate equipment, and extended deployments. And they are staying away in droves. In May, the Army fell short of its original recruiting target by more than 35%. Military recruiting is so difficult that recruiters are going AWOL.

The Republican Party doesn't seem interested in fixing these problems. They claim to "support the troops", but they would rather cut taxes for the rich than buy enough body armor for the infantry. People are beginning to say that Republican war cheerleading is hypocritical.

The awesomely heterosexual General JC Christian has come up with a brilliant solution: OPERATION YELLOW ELEPHANT. He wants to help Republicans show they truly support the war — by fighting it.

The objective of OPERATION YELLOW ELEPHANT is to recruit College Republicans and Young Republicans to serve as infantry. They demanded this war and now viciously support it. It's only right that they also experience it.

The General and his team have put together a bunch of special ops. Check it out!

I doubt the General will enlist many soldiers. The unofficial Republican tax policy is the same as Leona Helmsley's: "Taxes are for the little people." I suspect they support the war the same way: "Death is for the little people, too."